When I was still a youth, I was romanced by the idea of a spontaneous forever. I dreamed of meeting a boy in a library. He wouldn’t be strikingly attractive but there would be beauty in the way his brows creased and his lips pursed that I would learn to appreciate. He would be kind, and genuine and ever so slowly we would warm to one another until one day we would look back and not be able to pin point where we fell for one another.
When we first met I thought very little of it. You smiled with your eyes and had a strong handshake but really I paid little attention. And then within the week there you were again. ‘Lets explore’ you sang and when I caught you watching me you said it was like watching a child’s first trip to Disney land.
We sat one day talking and you over flowed with love and knowledge. Yet I knew part of you yearned for so much more and to give so much more. Though I saw so many lessons behind your words I knew better than to seek them. For soon you shall be gone and I would struggle to say goodbye.
But then you were in my library. My library that you joked was always yours. And when we spoke you gave such genuine answers and your tenderness again began to flow from your words. You had this joy in your presence, even when everything turned for the worse. When I said I had felt alone I watched your heart break in your furrowed brow.
I sat there stressed and confused and the least pleasant of company yet every day you returned to the library to sit with me. Always with the sympathetic nod, a fresh cup of caffeine or an affectionate mocking.
I haven’t seen you in a while. But I still go out of my way to sit in that spot in case you come past. Today I realized I missed you. I was a little surprised by the realization and slightly hurt. See I know you have to leave soon and I know I will recover from my little crush, but for a brief second I believed in being romanced by serendipity.
I might just hide behind dark lips, a strong brow and a black coffee and hope they don’t know the difference.